Family consist of mom, dad, kids, sister, brother, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles and cousins who are blood related from many generations ago and still to come. There are big families, small families, blended families, extended families and last but not least, spiritual family. But what is a real family?
Years ago when my children were in middle school, something amazing happened. Through my kids, I met two awesome ladies whom their children knew mine. They all went to the same school. One of the rules of my house was to meet their friends parents and this is how I met the other two ladies, one had 5 children and the other had 4; at that time I had 4 of my own. In 1991, ten years after my youngest daughter was born, I adopted a child, my youngest son. Two years after he was born, I was granted legal custody of one of my children’s friend, a daughter. So all together we three mother’s have 15 children. In 1993, was a new beginning of one large and unique family. We were and still are a village that raised all of these kids from middle school to high school, to the birth of our grandchildren. And today we’re still a village who is stronger than ever; there are more children from other families who have joined our village, but it still 3 mother’s. Yes we mothers were married and our husbands all were a major part as being these kids fathers. We all had different homes which the children would go to visit or live. All we needed was to have our homes in close proximity of each other. But it never stopped us from doing what we had to do for our children. We never turn children, no matter what their ages, away. We do get together for family fun time, such as bowling, game day, or any activities the kids or grands are participating in. If someone is sick and in hospital, a private room has to be ordered because of the amount of family that will visit. We do that in shifts because it’s so many. Our children had few friends, but for the most part as siblings, they prefer to be with each other and their kids. Everyone is very supportive of everyone, no matter what is going on, we are all there. This is all we have know for so long that it is natural to us.
This is why I ask the question, what is a real family. I have heard so many stories about how families don’t get along, always arguing, fighting, and not being there for each other. This really saddens me to see and hear about things like that. One of my girls was upset because she couldn’t understand why her own family was treating her the way they do. Never there for her when she needs help, her sisters don’t support her with any life changing events, mother doesn’t either. She has been apart of our family since 2008, along with her son and boyfriend. I read a blog they other day about the same thing. This person was upset because her family was disrespectful and rude to her, and never wanted to support her for the exception of her mother. It pained me to hear or see things like this. Life is just to short not to love each other.
One thing I will never to is overstep my boundaries when it comes to family problems. The only thing to do is listen, offer help and support. The advise I gave them was to never stop loving your family, but sometimes you have to step away and let them deal with whatever is going on with them in their personal life and pray that God will deliver them from it. In the meantime, they need to forgive and move on. When your mind and eyes have been cloudy with tears from all the crying, it’s hard to see that God has put other people in your life who will be that mother, father, sister, brother, etc. People that love you no matter what and will support you. God knows what everyone needs before we know, and he provides those figures at the right time. There was a reason God put our village together, he knew we were going to need a certain type of support that our blood families weren’t able to give us at the time. He knew that we all needed to have people that we could trust and how long it would take to establish that trust, with each other and with our children. We have gone through births, deaths, marriages and divorces (mine) together, and the support through it all was there. I know how bad one can hurt behind family and it was God that brought us out of it, allowing my blood family to heal and move forward. It’s wonderful.
With any family, relationships will be tested, there will ups and downs, good and bad. The people that have been around you for many years, and are true to you, are your True and Real Family. Never stop loving your blood family, forgive them, pray for them nonstop and continue to move forward with your life. Always keep God first, and he will give you the family you have long for. God is Love.
Me and my children